So I’ve got this hat, I’m pretty sure it gives me special powers. But enough about me. I’m blogging, I’m blogging my stream of thought. I remember one time when I was little. I was with my Aunt Stephanie. We were sitting at a picnic table by the lake. The town we were in is called McCall. McCall is a dainty tourist town that has a wonderful climate during the summer and a fresh smell of warm pine needles to soothe the mind.

While I did not know it at the time, Stephanie was trying to capture my innocence on paper. As we sat she pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. 

“Wayne,” she said, “I’m going to ask you some questions and write down the answers on this piece of paper.” 

“How come?” I asked.

“Oh just for fun.”

My young brain struggled as I tried to understand what she was doing. After about twenty more questions for her, I began to realize that Stephanie did not have any secret plans behind her actions, but she was actually doing this activity because she saw some intrinsic value in this process that my little mind couldn’t comprehend. 

The first question was went something like this, “What would you like be when you grow up?” 

I sat there for a long time. “Um. Umm. Um. Ummmmmmmm.” I stopped abruptly. “What are you doing?” I asked flabbergasted.

“I’m writing down what you say.”

I looked at the paper and I could see a bunch of symbols that all looked similar. I couldn’t read them but she explained that I had said ‘um‘ almost 13 times. I pointed at another group of letters and asked, “what does that say?”

“It says, 'What are you doing?’.”

That was when it dawned on me that she really was writing down everything I was saying. After about seven more ‘ums’ I started laughing. Soon I couldn’t think of an answer simply because I was distracted by what she was writing. 

“Stop writing all my ums!” I exclaimed. “Are you writing all of them?”

“I’m writing everything you say.” I leaned over the table to look at the paper again, and I could see where she began writing the words "stop writing the 'ums’." This phrase was repeated by me on her paper about four times. I finally gave her an answer just for the sake of giving her something else to write. I believe I told her that I wanted to be a police officer or a fire fighter. 

I eventually lost focus, and I believe she did too because soon I found that we were walking about, enjoying the scenery. Although I’m sure the nonsensical talk continued, it just was not recorded in the same way. 

My name is Wayne Ririe. As far as I know, my life is simple. I have friends, I work hard in school, I put a lot of voluntary time in my church, and I go home to a caring wife every day. Then it hit me. It was as if everything came into perfect focus with a click. I began to  see something that I never suspected. Everything made sense, and nothing made sense at all. My stomach was a sickened knot.
It all started on May 25 at 11:57 A.M. in the large glass atrium of the tanner building. The sun was shining through the clear ceiling high above my head. I was about to write my weekly blog for mcom 320 when a small number caught my eye. It could have been easily overlooked, and in fact, I almost began writing in my blog without ever noticing. The number was an eight. Eight were the number of views that my blog had received on the 22^nd of May. The funny thing–I didn’t look at my blog even once on the 22^nd of May. I was, and I am, being watched. Immediately after noticing this, a feeling of self–awareness and grave danger silently drained the color from my face. Despite the adrenaline pulsing through my head, I kept quiet and calm. Less than a moment later I began to feel the eyes. I looked up only to make uneasy eye-contact with a girl who was walking down the stairs. I didn’t know her, but she knew me. Behind me was a student working on his laptop, although, he didn’t seem so interested in his work compared to his interest for staring ominously at my back. I slowly turned back around in my seat to notice a girl who was talking on her cell phone and walking inconspicuously while periodically looking over in my direction. They blended in so well with the countless number of students and yet, they didn’t blend in at all. They weren’t there for any other reason but me. They are not students at all.

 . . . I feel it’s time for me to leave.

So I made a friend today. He’s a slippery one and our relationship is more unhealthy than it is healthy. I say that now, but I’m still glad I have the chance to get to know him. He’s always with me but I find that if I see too much of him I become somewhat lethargic, and he can even make me bored. On the flip side, if I don’t see him for even more than a day, I’m dying for him to come back into my life. It’s a funny relationship and I’m still trying to find the balance. The best times are when I use him. I do it with the best intentions. Truthfully I have no malicious feelings. In fact, People even compliment me on how I have taken advantage of him. At the same time, I have family and other close relatives that oft times tell me that I need to stop taking advantage of my new friend. They say that if I overdo it, it becomes unhealthy. I usually respond with something like, “I have to take advantage of him and manipulate him, because manipulating my new friend is in MY best interest.”
My new friend: Time

Well I don’t have much time so this will be nothing glamorous.

      My week started early–3:30 in the morning early. The jingle on my cell phone blared relentlessly and diligently like it always does. I lied in bed for another 30 minutes before fumbling my way through a sea of blankets to the edge of my bed. Tiptoeing my way across the floor I did my best to feel out for the miscellaneous objects that threatened my balance. With a flick the bathroom light was on. The electric wiring in the bathroom connects the lighting directly to our noisy ceiling fan. So not only were my eyes assaulted, but also my ears were offended by the continual drone. In the shower the water seeped into my soul for the next 20 minutes and awoke me from the numbing sleep. 

     My morning continued slowly. I wrapped myself up in a blanket as I studied; frequently I got up to find a snack or a hot beverage. It was all I could do to keep the gears in my brain turning . . . Before I knew it, the time was 9 p.m. and my long day at school was over–18 hours of work. 

     I’m now at the end of my week. I can say that all the hard work has payed off.

The life and times of Wayne continue . . .

Today has been pretty uneventful, so let’s start from yesterday. I played my first soccer game of the intramural season. The air felt nice and the sun was pleasantly streaming over the turf field. It felt good, what more can I say. Then the game started. After about two full minutes into the game I was a wheezing bag of flesh. My once graceful strides had turned into uncoordinated stomping while my legs turned into tree stumps that bent randomly at the knees. What I thought was a slim body above my waste was in reality a lifeless sack of fat with heavy appendages. Fortunately by the second half the dizzying spell had started to disperse. I felt a little more alive, but the pain was still taking it’s toll. Before I knew it, the game was over with a slightly un-climactic tie: three-three. 

Unbenounced to me, my body has been fighting allergies for the past two weeks. Destroying my body with a competitive soccer game lowered the defenses enough that I  was forced too tank up on drugs and attempt to sleep off a nose that continually flowed and eyes that cried themselves red.

Fortunately today has been plagued only by a few sniffles as well as eyes that are just a hair too large for their sockets. 

Wow, what a day. Today has been different, just like the rest of the 8,522 days of my puny existence. The  reason I woke up today is the same reason I’m writing on this square that girls like to call a blog (Men don’t know about these squares). The reason I woke up was for class. The reason I’m writing? Class.
     Right now you probably have that uneasy feeling about me. It’s that feeling that everyone gets when they meet a robot disguised within the skin of a human. Please do not be fooled like so many of the friends I used to have! I am no robot! But alas, my will does in fact bend daily to a system that some call school which I have willfully flung myself into.
    Now where was I? Ah yes, I was at the beginning of my day. Unfortunately my dear friends I am also at the end. You see, it is only mandatory for me to write 150 words and presently I am at 171. As it is, I still have this nagging feeling telling me deep within my soul that I need to record some of the day’s events, otherwise they will be completely lost in a collection of faded memories that I hold somewhere I can’t remember. So, for the sake of time, I will put the days events in bullet points.
-Woke up at 6:43 while my wife continued sleeping.
-Didn’t shower
-drug myself to campus while eating a bowl of partially cooked microwaved oatmeal
-Got to school at 7:33 and studied until my 8 oclock class.
-Got in a boxing ring against 2 quizzes and won.
-Made friends… I think
-My teacher gave me a dollar for raising my hand in class. He then said, after giving me my treasured dollar bill, “there’s money out there, all you have to do is raise your hand and get it."
-Went home to eat and found my wife happily going about her day.
-came back to school
-Made a pathetic attempt to be diligent until sleep ninjas barbarically hacked at my diligence leaving me completely lifeless on this library table from which I write to you now.
And now it is time…  for another adventure…